“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth,” writes Pema Chödrön at the beginning of her masterful book When Things Fall Apart. This potent statement speaks to our need to cut against the grain of our ordinary habits and impulses, to patiently seek out a greater degree of intimacy with our own mind and being. She encourages us to not sidestep suffering but consider it as part of life’s messy soil, out of which we can tend the expanding garden of our spirit. When things fall apart and we feel nailed to an unraveling situation we can try to run or we can embrace the fundamental groundlessness of our lives. Chödrön writes:

This is where tenderness comes in. When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality. There is definitely something tender and throbbing about groundlessness.

Our stories about our lives are so many premature conclusions on life’s continual movement. What seems like a curse now can turn out to be a blessing later. Things fall apart, then come together, and fall apart again. Dealing skillfully with our stories is an crucial part of touching the “soft spot” of our heart where we can more deeply relate to others and feel genuine compassion for the suffering that we all share as human beings.

Approaching our everyday reality with curiosity can help us investigate and discover our own truths. Is our fundamental situation joyful? Are the opposites in life contradictory or complementary? Are we being honest and kind with ourselves? Chödrön writes on these timeless questions in the book, sharing her own experiential insights into them while encouraging us to continually adopt an open and curious posture to see for ourselves.

In this effort we have to be willing to make a full effort, without any reservations or anything held back. Chödrön writes:

We don’t experience the world fully unless we are willing to give everything away. Samaya means not holding anything back, not preparing our escape route, not looking for alternatives, not thinking that there is ample time to do things later.

Avoiding the illusion of safety that comes from leaving an escape route also means to commit to this present moment as both a means and an end in itself. We have to bring everything we experience to our journey in awareness, all of which becomes food for developing our wisdom and our ability to navigate life with more grace and heart. With this effort we can cultivate an attitude where, in the words of Chödrön’s teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news.”